Between..Rightness & Illusion

Listening to my lovely Chi Mai..

thinking, and thinking...

..have a strong desire to sway and keep swaying till I fall over the ground..,

this is my feeling..this is my life..the harsh, dull life..,

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed ,weakness, and even confusion..

I feel that love has come into fashion.. has lacked its uniqueness,

Sometimes I feel rightness ,and sometimes I just ignore it !!!!

It needs a good wisdom to carry on that hard track...

It needs power to keep breathing along with that long night...

It needs a very strong patience to bear this wounded silence...

It needs a whole life to understand and even realize this mystery...

It's your life, my life, our lives...

this crazy life which is keeping us wondering ..!!!!

Wondering...

If it really makes sense!!!

If it's so much logical as much we can't accept it ...!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Adam !!!

Hi Adam...
Iam Eve..
look at me...
stop being superficial..
try to be a little open minded...and think..
try to see my real beauty..
see me by your mind as much as your eyes...
see me by your heart as much as your gaze..
 Remember..my INSIDE is so beautiful as much as my OUTSIDE........

" I'll be sure, when I know that you love ME for ME "

The Doll

She was very innocent...

she was so pure....

she was alittle cute doll...

she was loved all around her...trusted all of them...she saw only the good of them...

she was so honest, kind, and sweet.........

But....Alas...All were deceiving pictures...Suddenly, she discovered the truth,the whole truth.

she broke down, crushed deep down inside her heart...

Her heart became dark, empty, dreary, lonely, creepy, cloistered and afraid of the unknown...

Her soul became weak and cold...

Everyday, she holds her weaker soul, wounded heart... and walks beside her fear crying and hoping to reach that safe side of that awful world...but, without hurting once again..



With every sunrise,she wake up with a hope to run away, reach that light...hold it tight within her small hand...breath the soft and nice wind......and keep it save inside her empty soul....

to fly happily with birds to breath freedom and to take off every fetter......

At these moments, she feels herself so strong, she feels like if she can just fly away.....so so far..to make her own world...






But, with every sunset, she starts to cringe deep down inside her soul..feeling her heart bleeding from remembering the past which insist to push her door and take the life potion...to come back and live forever inside her mind and heart...just for the sake of destroying what is left of her life.........she cringe so much with her knees hugs her chest... ties herself up with that dark corner in her room which is getting smaller much more and more...




Between her sunrise & her sunset...she feels loss, death, and gets lost.....hoping to find that secret which will be her relief......BUT WHERE!!!!!!!

A Bridge of Innocence

It's a girl. She was a very innocent girl in spite of what she got through. She went back to her home finally after a long journey abroad. By the time she arrived, she was excited so much about her new life style, about what she will do and what she will plan for.



One day, she finally met him, that boy who was her childhood friend. They came to this life at the same month. They grew up with each other, played with each other, did everything as soulmates. She saw him after a long time....Bashfully, she stares at his face trying to take a copy of his new countenance after approximately ten years.



After a while, he was trying to be more close to her, much more a mere friend....and she felt that!. He was very nice and he cares so much about her. She was wondering about what he wants exactly...

She was innocent, unexperienced, faithful girl, and he was seemed like that too. He revealed his love to her and she admit that she is in love with him too.



They made their own dreams, amditions, hopes, plans....He was her whole life...He was her future. But, it's time for leaving again. She is going to fly so far again, but jus for one year. At the same time she was leaving , she feels that he is going to leave her...going far away from her. But, she tried to convince herself of the contrary.



She was dreaming everyday about their life, about their future, and their love. She was standing at the window staringat the stars and thinking about him. Simply, he owned her heart, mind, soul, and feelings...completely.



But again she felt that he want to go away from her. She didn't want to accept that feeling as she won't leave him ever. This time, that feeling was seriously...He hurt her in every single way, but she still making excuses for him. She wasn't ready yet to accept his hurting for her. Both her feelings and mind were not ready to believe that awful fact.



She broke down when she had no shoulder to cry over. She lived a very struggling life. She was struggling with her inner feelings....She was struggling with her mind which was convincing her always not to believe and to make excuses and more excuses.



slowly, she was collecting her strength which is throwen all over the place deep down in her heart. After a while, she still asking and wonering.. why did he disappear??!. But, she always couldn't get any answer. Even, every single chance she was exploiting to just understand and know the truth, she was hurt much more. In every attempt, she was hurting again and again.She was suffering badly and for so long time. She was like a very little cute toy for that boy who cares for and loves it, then he intends to punish and destroy it for no reason!!.



Every time she gets hope, then she lost it fastly. Until one day, when she was also wondering why....she realize his fact and how much she was deceived all this time by someone who is a very professional deceiver. She was shocked by this fact. But, she realized at the end that she wasn't struggling with her inner, but with that deceiving liar picture she drew unwillingly.



So, she became sure that it was just a bridge...a difficult bridge which is full of obstacles to get over. It was a bridge hard to pass over it from innocence to experience. But, she did it.....yes, she got over it.....!

 

I have been touched by an angel with love

A little short cute creature walking on the ground....
yes it's little and short..But..how much stronger he is!!!

he is the strongest creature I ever seen !!! stronger than me and you!!!

Little cute kid.....
when you smile, the sun shines again
when you laugh, I feel that there is a beautiful, wonderful and new day is coming soon
when you look at me, I can see a great future through your gaze
when you hug me, I feel that Iam the strongest one in the whole world
when you say " Iam fine and happy " I surely know that the rest of my day will be great

your eyes make me fly with the most terrific innocence
your imagination makes me touch the glorious future we are looking for
and give me courage to do it

DO you know!!!.....you're an angel.....yeeeees, you're
you're a very beautiful angelic creature...!!
May Allah bless you our angel :)

Missings !!!

Have you ever asked yourself what you're truly miss???!!

                   for ME...

I miss safety in a such inscure world...

I miss truly love in a such dishonest world...

I miss sincerity in a such betrayer world...

I miss contentment in a such greedy world...

I miss candour in a such artificial world...

I miss simlicity in a such complicated world...

I miss the infinity in a such impossible world...

I miss freedom in a such a prison..

I miss craziness in a such traditional, boring world...

I miss rainbow in a sunny day...

I miss my own  imagination world...

I miss the charitable dealing...

I miss the impetuous childhood...

I miss the sunshine...

I miss dreams...

I miss fantasy...

I miss happiness...

I miss my sunny smile...

I miss smiling...

I miss flying  ... :)

But what about you.....What do you miss ??????? 

DID U EVER.........!!!!!!!!

Did u ever feel pain...

Did u ever pretend that u're okay...

Did u ever laughe so much to not feel that pain,but u find urself crying!!!

Did u ever feel ur heart bleeding so much...

Did u ever wish to take off ur heart and throw it away...

Did u ever wish to shake off this horrible feeling...

Did u ever get lost and dose not know a reason to be alive...

Did u ever wonder,wonder for soooooo long and never get an answer

Did u ever find urself pure,sooo pure so much so that you cant live in this awful world...

Did u ever feel hurt...

Did u ever listen to ur broken heart...

Did u ever notic what ur heart is trying to say to u....

Did u ever feel how much ur heart crushed...

DID U EVER............................